The Greatest Light

I was looking through a box of articles and papers and speeches I've written; and hidden amongst the crap and the mundane and the sometimes brilliant, was a speech I'd written to introduce Dr. Marilyn K. Volker as the keynote speaker at the 1994 South Florida Gender Symposium for medical and mental health professionals.

I won't get into the flowery details, but the crux of my introduction was to verify Marilyn's importance in the gender community to the attendees, and I opened my speech by quoting Edith Wharton in Vesalius in Zante: "There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."

I added that Marilyn was both: she was the candle, showing us our way out of the dark; and she was the mirror, reflecting our light and helping us to see ourselves more clearly.

How lucky I was that Marilyn was not only my therapist in the early years of my transition, but also my good friend. I helped her to educate her Human Sexuality classes by sitting on a panel comprised of various members of the gender community several times a year. She was there whenever I needed her, and counseled me when I was in the death throes of a long and abusive relationship. When I married a few years later, she sent a wonderful wedding gift with her apologies for being unable to attend the ceremony.

She was my savior when I truly needed saving, and I miss talking to her; especially when I need a few words of wisdom sprinkled liberally with her unique brand of humor. And a reminder to practice safe sex.

I need to write one more thing. I need to write Marilyn a letter.