Twelve Things You Never Knew About Me

1. I have a chart that I refer to when I need to wear a dress shirt and tie, and it tells me what goes with what. I have so many of both that it saves me a lot of time. And God knows I'm not about wasting time.
2. My grandfather called me "Stick" when I was a kid. I was tall for my age and quite gangly, so I suppose it was appropriate. I miss my grandfather.
3. If I had a son I'd name him Jacob Howard. Howard was my grandfather's name, and when I changed my name I took his middle name as my last name.
4. When I like something, I tend to buy multiples. Especially clothing. It works for me.
5. I taught myself to read when I was four years old, and shocked the shit out of my mother.
6. When I was thirteen I carved an "X" in my nine-year-old sister's forehead with a nut pick. She still has the scar and my mom just about killed me.
7. I can recite the Preamble to the Constitution but I have to sing it. "Schoolhouse Rock", ya know.
8. Nude portraiture is my specialty. And I'm damn good at it.
9. I once went four days without sleeping when my pulmonologist prescribed a new pill for my asthma.
10. When I was a bridge captain many years ago, I had an injured,very unhappy pelican in the bridge house while I waited for my friend from the bird sanctuary to arrive. Unhappy pelicans are not good houseguests.
11. I can drive a tractor.
12. If I could do it all over again, I would. I'd just like to be able to see a few roadbumps next time.