Never Again

I moved on Sunday and, as I have done the last ten times I've moved, I vowed never to do it again.

It wasn't even that big of a move, or even very far. Fourteen miles isn't bad. A second-floor walk-up isn't bad.

What was bad was the fact that my new apartment is clear at the opposite end of the building from the entrance. I am living in Buttfuck Egypt, and I didn't have a single camel to help carry my books. Family, yes. Beasts of burden, no.

I borrowed a van from work and, with the help of my niece's husband, got it loaded up. Well, almost. I wasn't able to squeeze in my framed Beatles movie posters, a couple hundred DVDs, some bookcases, all of my clothes that are on hangers, or my vacuum.

So I got most of it in one trip. But I digress...

I rented my apartment sight-unseen. There were no two-bedrooms that were empty at the time I was looking, but I was assured that a two-bedroom, two-bath would be opening up by the end of October.

So I looked at an empty one-bedroom to get a feel for where I would be living, and I was pleased with what I saw. I filled out the application and went home to pack.

I learned that I would be able to sign my lease and move in on October 30th. That was great for me, because I didn't want to have to move the following weekend. At precisely one-oh-three I walked into the rental office and signed my lease. A few minutes later I pulled up in front of my building and went inside.

From the building entrance I made a sharp left and entered a door. Up a long, narrow staircase I climbed to a large landing, and entered another door to my left. I walked down a loooooong hallway, noting apartment numbers as I went.

At the end of the hall I reached a pair of fire doors and realized that I hadn't passed my apartment. I went through the doors and made a quick jog to the left, and again to the right.

Finally... my apartment.

I wasn't so bad if I wasn't lugging boxes. But I realized that carrying all of my heavy shit was going to make that walk even longer.

I did get moved in. And I really don't ever want to have to move again.

But I found the laundry room.... on the opposite side of the building.

I'm gonna lose a lot of weight living here.