Cock of the Walk

Sometimes I remember who I am.

Being Jake is so natural to me that every so often I stop and think, "Oh, yeah. I'm transgendered."

That is not to say that it's something that I've consciously put on the back burner, because it isn't. There are moments, several times a day, when I think, "Ugh. I hate my body." Or, "Fuck, I wish I could just have surgery and feel better about myself."

But once in a while the fact that I'm transgendered -- and the impact of what it means -- really hits me.

What's to stop someone from beating me to death for the crime of being different? "Hate crime" is still a new concept in this country, and for all of the bluster in the District of Columbia promising harsh punishment for those convicted, just charging someone with a hate crime in this country is still like walking through a political mine field.

It's only been 3 1/2 years since Gwen Araujo was beaten and strangled, and then buried in a shallow grave by a group of young men who discovered that she was transgendered. Just a few short years ago; and while two were convicted of murder and two pleaded guilty to charges of manslaughter, not one of them was ever charged with a hate crime.

Signing hate crime legislature makes for good press if you're a politician, but to those of us who see it as that thin line between being worthwhile or worthless to society, it doesn't mean shit if you won't back it up.