Lost and Found

Hell's bells. I haven't posted in almost three weeks. So much has happened, which is probably why I haven't posted in almost three weeks. So here goes:

1. LOST: Job. FOUND: Better job. I lost one job and found a new one. The job I lost I was about to quit anyway because the president of the company was giving me chest pains every time he walked into my office. He's so bad that even his son, who works for the company, can't stand him. This was on top of the fact that my duties no longer represented the job description as it was when I was hired. So I was able to file for unemployment. The downside is that filing for unemployment in Illinois is a horrible process and you can never get a real person on the phone if you have questions. But I did find a new job in a relatively short time and have been there for two weeks now. My new employer is so big and important that, if you work for a Fortune 500 company, chances are that my company has something to do with you personally. And I'll never forget my hire date because I started on my birthday.
2. LOST: 30s. FOUND: Dorian Gray. Which brings me to that milestone. Since last we spoke, I turned 43. I know that most people don't consider 43 a milestone, but to me it represents being firmly entrenched in my forties. Until then, I thought of myself as being just barely in my forties, or that I was 39-plus. So far, 43 hasn't been too bad. People still think I'm at least ten years younger, and on the second day of company orientation (everyone has to go through 2 1/2 days of getting to know the company before starting their job-specific training), another new hire flirted outrageously with me. I enjoyed it until she told me that she's 18. I have absolutely no problem with a younger woman's interest but I do draw the line when she's 25 years younger than I am.
3. LOST: One Saturday sleep-in. FOUND: One fun Saturday night. My mom retired and asked me to bake corn muffins for her retirement party. So on the day of her party I got up at the butt-crack of dawn and baked. And baked. She had almost 100 guests so I baked some more until, at noon, I decided that 12 dozen corn muffins was enough. And, for your information, I do not use a mix. I always bake from scratch. The party was a blast, and I didn't even drink.
4. LOST: Several loud sport shirts. FOUND: A sweater I thought I'd already disposed of. I have been cleaning out my closet. It's big. I found a hideous sweater that the bride of Satan bought for me. I could have sworn that I got rid of it. On the other hand, I can't find my favorite sport shirts. We've officially gone "casual" at work and I want those shirts.
5. LOST: Several hours in front of the tube. FOUND: Immense science-geek satisfaction. I'm a CSI junkie, so I've been watching a lot of CSI on DVD.
6. LOST: My mind. FOUND: My annual guilty pleasure. Summer is here, and Big Brother is on.

That reminds me: I owe you a Big Brother entry.